Posted by: Jamie Stamm | August 30, 2009


Sometimes I wonder if Jerry and I are too straightforward with our kids.

We agreed early on that there would be no baby talk in our family, that we would answer our children’s questions openly and honestly, and that we would use proper anatomical terms when discussing our and their bodies (a big move for a girl who grew up in a family that referred to the penis as a “pee bug”).

The result: smart, communicative kids with excellent vocabularies – who absorb everything and later regurgitate it. Like the other night, when Jerry was cooking Italian sausages for dinner and Cera casually remarked,  “Hey, they look like penises.” (Granted, with a potty-training preschooler, there’s a lot of penis talk – and overall penis fascination – in our household lately.)

Another case in point:

One morning last week, prompted by questions from Ant, I led a frank discussion about how babies eat, which evolved from bellybuttons to breastfeeding. His curiosity satisfied, we switched subjects, and I didn’t think much more about it.

Until a few days later, when we were walking through the bakery department at our grocery store and Anthony pressed a toy chipmunk to my breast and started making sucking sounds.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Chippy’s drinking your milk,” Ant said matter-of-factly.

Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed, but I had to.

“Mommy doesn’t have milk anymore,” I explained.

“Did I drink it all?” Ant asked.

“Yes,” I replied, another laugh escaping my lips. “You drank it all.”

Yep, I created him. And now I have to deal with him.



  1. Too funny! I’ll never forget the time I took a friend of mine yard sale-ing with my nephew and he found a breast pump on the table and proceeded to place it at my friends breast–several times. When told her really should quit he lifted up his shirt and put it on his own nipple. Kids are hilarious!

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