Posted by: Jamie Stamm | June 5, 2009

Does this make me a superhero?

I have a mommy nemesis.

We “met” early in the school year when she cut me off turning into carpool, leaving me to seethe while staring at her wrecked bumper, which 10 months later still isn’t fixed, and her personalized license plate, which I have yet to decipher. We’ve had a few more run-ins since, including this morning, when she felt the need to pull around me as Cera struggled to open the van door instead of politely waiting in line like the other moms and dads did. And I’ve watched in self-righteous mom horror as she’s driven through carpool time and again with her preschooler (I’d guess he’s about 4) moving freely about the car instead of strapped into a booster seat. You know, lady, even in the slow-moving carpool line, you sometimes have to hit the brakes.

I’d never encountered my nemesis outside carpool until this past weekend, when she made an appearance at the Y pool. In typical nemesis fashion, she irked the hell out of me, and she has each and every day since. She shows up with her own chair, which she places in the middle of the deck (there already are dozens of Y-provided chairs around the perimeter of the pool), and then settles in with a book resting on her pregnant belly (yes, she’s pregnant – and no, that doesn’t make me dislike her any less) while her preschooler wreaks havoc in the children’s pool with his kick board. While my contempt for her runs deep, I feel kind of bad for her son, who goes out of his mind whenever dad shows up at the pool because someone – finally – is paying attention to him.

Jerry says having a nemesis makes me just like a superhero, which he thinks is pretty cool. The only problem? She has no idea that she’s earned a place of dishonor in my mommy world. And I can’t exactly tell her.

Instead, I’ve resorted to singing this little ditty in my head every time I see her. ThankĀ  you, “Phineas and Ferb,” for giving me my superhero theme song. Now, if I could just find a cape …

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Responses

  1. Glad we could provide your themesong! Good luck with the cape hunting.

  2. That song would drive me insane! The sad thing about your nemesis is that she is so wrapped up in herself that she has no idea how she pisses off other people! I can’t stand people like that – let’s go shopping for capes and stiletto heels and give her a front snap kick to the head!!!

    Peace, Hil


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