Posted by: Jamie Stamm | May 6, 2009

An unexpected turn in conversation

It’s still rare for Anthony to take a nap, but after his preschool teacher told me today that she thought he was tired, and then Ant himself told me that he was tired (a statement he later would vehemently deny), I thought he might benefit from a short rest. So I somehow convinced him to lie in bed with me for a while.

Ant tried to fall asleep for approximately six seconds before the stall tactics started. First, he pretended to be a hummingbird, then a bull, and finally, the chatter kicked in.

Ant: “Can we talk?”

Me: “Yes, we can talk. What do you want to talk about?”

Ant: “Stories and things. (Pause) What’s your favorite sport to play?”

Me: “Swimming.”

Ant: “Swimming’s not a sport.”

Me: “OK, baseball. Baseball’s my favorite sport.”

Ant: “I like baseball, too.”

It was a typical mother-son conversation, until Anthony busted out with this query:

“Mama, why are your nipples so big?”

“Why are my nipples so big?” I repeated, taking a second to reconcile my feelings of shock and amusement.

Before I share my answer, allow me to make two things perfectly clear.

Number 1: I was lying in bed with my son fully clothed. There was no nipple showing to prompt his question.

Number 2: I don’t think my nipples are abnormally large.

“Well,” I started slowly, “they’re big because I used to feed you and Cera with them when you were babies.”

I thought it was a perfectly legitimate – and appropriate – answer, and apparently, Ant did, too. Because he paused thoughtfully, then nodded and said, “OK. Let’s play submarine.”

And with that, we pulled the comforter up over our heads and pretended to be floating around undersea. There was no nap, and – thankfully – there were no more unexpected questions either.



  1. So funny! Your kids are so amusing! You had better be on your toes…wait till they get older!!!

  2. […] least he knows his anatomy … I debated whether to share this story, but considering this week’s earlier post about nipples, I felt I had […]

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