Posted by: Jamie Stamm | January 16, 2009

To lock or not to lock (the bathroom door, that is)

When I made the decision to stay home with my kids, I realized I was giving up any real possibility of quality “me” time – at least for the next few years. But can’t a girl at least shower in peace?

If I don’t manage to wake and wash before Cera and Ant tumble out of bed in the morning, I usually try to sneak back to the master bath while they’re both engaged in some low-key activity, like watching cartoons or coloring. I close the door behind me, turn on the water … and within 30 seconds, one or both of them burst in.

Tonight, Cera had to tell me she’d finished an art project (apparently, this information was of dire and immediate importance). Then, just moments after she’d retreated to the living room, Anthony appeared in the doorway, sobbing as he mumbled something about “the top of the chair.” Always one to try to clear her name, Cera trailed him, telephone in hand.

“It’s Daddy,” she told me, holding out the receiver.

At least that explained why Anthony was crying. He had climbed on top of a chair to answer the phone, which Cera had snatched before he could grasp it (no one actually had to explain this to me – it happens several times a day).

As Cera got closer to the bathroom door, Anthony quickly tried to slam it on her. which resulted in a screaming-and-pushing battle (I hope my hubby enjoyed the audio version of this fight coming over his cell phone). Ant won the struggle over his sister and then locked the door, something I should probably consider doing myself (I just worry that there could be a real emergency).

So my less-than-five-minute shower involved three appearances by my children, tears, a fight, a slammed and locked door and a phone call from my husband, who now probably thinks I have no control over the house while he’s gone. He may be right.

My mom told me this is payback for all the times I walked in on her in the bath when I was a kid – sometimes with my entire entourage of friends behind me.

Did I really do that?

Wow, I sucked.


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