Posted by: Jamie Stamm | August 4, 2008

I didn’t cry

I’ve spent quite a bit of time today wondering if there’s something wrong with me.

Because, over the past few days, as I’ve talked to people about my daughter starting kindergarten, nearly all have asked, “Did you cry?” or “Were you a wreck?” or some other variation of that same question.

And the answer is no, I didn’t cry.

I was quite a bit surprised myself last Thursday, when Cera had her staggered entry day. I fully expected to shed some tears, but she walked right into that classroom like she owned it, said “Bye, Mom,” took a seat with the other kids and started coloring.

I wasn’t sad. I was proud.

And today, on her first official day of kindergarten, she practically ran to Mrs. Matthews’ room, hung her backpack in her cubby and struck up a conversation with a little girl who was wearing a shirt that she also has. After unloading her school supplies, I asked for a quick hug – otherwise, she probably wouldn’t have noticed that I left.

As I walked out of the school, I felt tears starting to well in my eyes and reached into my purse for one of the tissues I’d stowed there. That’s a little more motherly, I thought – until I sneezed and realized my watery eyes were just the effect of a summer cold.

Am I sad that my daughter has started kindergarten? Yes, in the sense that it means she’s growing up so quickly, as well as entering a new world where her innocence will gradually be worn away (I mean, she doesn’t even know who Hannah Montana is right now – I bet by Christmas, she’ll be begging for T-shirts and pajamas and whatever other merchandise is out there).

But I’m also thrilled at her enthusiasm, at her desire to learn and to make new friends. I know that for every hurt she encounters (little girls can be vicious, and I’m sure there will be heartbreak from boys in her future, too) there will be an equally amazing experience – maybe even a special friendship formed that will last a lifetime.

I feel like Cera was really ready for kindergarten. And that’s certainly nothing to be upset about.

So, in case anyone else planned to ask, the answer is no. I didn’t cry.

But I’m still a perfectly normal mom.

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Responses

  1. I was just reading “The Second Nine Months” in which the author admitted making herself cry after dropping her baby off @ daycare for the first time just so she could say that yes, she cried, when she was asked.
    Crying is so over-rated


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